Sunday, February 17, 2008

Managing Life and Writing a Book

Our lives are lived one day at a time. What you do with each day adds up quickly to determine how you live your life.

I have known the statements above for quite a long time now. In fact, it seems I have known them since I was a kid. So I tried to make make my life conform to my goals and ambitions. Funny things was, no one told me I had this brain disorder called Manic-Depression, and that some how, this disorder was actually controlling my whole life, without me or any one else out here knowing.

It took 37 years of my life before I got diagnosed. After so many errors and a lot of deep wounds and scars. I now live alone and I strive to support my self, and manage my life on my own.

The last 3 weeks of my life has been about getting hold of my life, and gaining control. It has been a hard three weeks. Very hard actually. But I know I am on my way to regaining control.

These are the first few steps I took to regain control of my life:
1. Accept the reality of the disorders' presence.
2. Learn as much as possible about the disorder
3. Inform people about the presence of the disorder in you

As I moved on with my life, I realized there were still other things I had to do to regain control of my life. This realization came to me just a few months ago, around 4 years after I got diagnosed.

These were the additional steps I realized I had to take to regain control of my life:
1. Always step back and see life from a "better" stand point.
2. I have a choice over my emotions and mental state, even if my feelings are out of whack.
3. How others view me and their opinions about me is not me. I know who I am and what I can be.
4. Stick to a time and finance budget. Even if I have to become a control freak
5. Keep a record of each day.

All of these may seem so complicated and hard to do. But that's just how it is to be able to manage a Bipolar Life.

All of these realizations have encouraged me to put my whole life in writing. And that's what I will do. Writing a book about my life will be a major project I will undertake this year.

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