Thursday, January 31, 2008

Almost at the other side .....

January has come to an end. I spent the first two weeks of the month on vacation in my home place in Dumaguete City. During the holidays I took time to read two books - The Da Vinci Method by Garret La Porto and Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament by Kay Redfield Jamison. These two books had a very profound impact on my understanding about my bipolar disorder. During the time I spent on vacation, I shifted my life paradigm based on what I learned from both books and what I have experienced dealing with this disorder. I can sense my paradigm shift is beginning to pay off. I just can't write about it now.

During the break, I also decided to strike off a few clients of mine who I realized was just taking me for a ride. They were succeeding on their projects at my expense. I decided to pursue my own path and start my own journey to success.

When I came back to Davao City, I did just that. I returned clients documents and started out on my own.

This Saturday I start with my own training workshop on Environmental Planning a.k.a Urban Planning in Digos City, Davao del Sur, and hopefully a housing project or two in the Davao del Sur area.

I have prepared for these projects mentally. I know deep inside I can move ahead on my own initiative.

Time is on my side. I only have to wait for things to fall in place. There is no need to rush. I am prepared for this already.

Feruary will be a fabulous month for me.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

In between .... Travels and Projects

My life is such that I have to travel to be able to get projects. Yesterday, I went to the Municipality of Matanao in the province of Davao del Sur. It took me approximately 2 hours and 30 minutes to get there.

There is a possibility of starting a housing project in Matanao, and also doing a workshop on Urban Planning in the Davao del Sur area.

I am leaving the groundwork to a friend for these two projects. The idea of doing the project is from me. My friend will be doing the initial negotiations for the housing project. He will also take charge of recruiting participants to the workshop - 5 so far; and setting up the venue.

I have already prepared the content of the workshop and the financial and work plan for the housing project.

We hope to start the workshop with an orientation this Saturday, and then meet every Saturday there after for the next 12 Saturdays.

The housing project negotiations could take some time. Maybe a month or two.

I will not rush things. . . . . . I will wait for everything to fall in place.

This is how things are when I am between Travelling and projects.

It's time to just feel the breeze and relax.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

On the Road

I will be leaving for my first out of town trip for the year. I will be going to Matanao, Davao del Sur to arrange a series of trainings with local planning officers of Davao del Sur and hopefully to start a housing project.

I will be travelling alone.

I find this trip significant since I will be alone and will try to regain my self from an unexplainable deep seated fear of travelling alone last year.

I had a short paranoia attack yesterday afternoon. It was a short one since I grabbed hold of my thoughts and convinced myself that what was going on in my mind was nothing at all. But I really broke into a cold sweat.

This disorder is really hard. It's your own brain working against you. If one is unaware of the presence of this ugly beast inside, anything can happen.

This awareness makes my trip today significant. I will be travelling alone, and I know that everything is not what my brain perceives.

I really have a powerful Operating System installed in my brain now, with some really nice and savvy software.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Up and Manic... again!

I am still awake, and it's past mid-night. I conditioned myself to sleep before 10p.m. every night for the last 3 weeks. Tonight I blew it. I watched TV after dinner while waiting for my Masseur. He didn't arrive. It was raining at around 9p.m. Then I lost track of time. I got focused on the TV.

I also overslept today. I was planning to go to church, but woke up at around 11a.m already. Ate a late brekfast, then went back to bed, then woke up late in the afternoon to cut the grass in the front yard. Cleaning the yard was exhilirating. Seeing the place trimmed and cut after 30 minutes of grass cutting made me feel nice inside. I rewarded myself with a mug of coffee, and sat at the terrace to watch neighbors pass by.

I am ready for the upcoming work this week. I have enough work in my hands. I'll be going to Matanao, Davao del Sur to check up on a housing project tomorro till Tuesday, then I'll be going back on Saturday for a training orientation and a meeting for another housing project.

This coming week will start off my work for 2008. It's already past mid-January. It's alright with me. I'm on schedule.

I just have some checking to do with my mental map and software. I need to tweak a bit my Mental Operating System so my software gets in sync with my map. This may sound so vague and egregious for you. I will find time to explain this mumbo jumbo within a week. PROMISE.

I know I am moving towards mania. Within a month or less this can turn into a full blown manic episode. I am actually looking forward that so I can test my software. So take time to watch this blog.

I will be posting at least 4 times a week to chronicle this new journey of mine.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Getting set . . . to GO!

I arrived from my vacation at dawn today. That was one nice vacation. I'll keep the details to myself why that vacation was a nice one. I just hope the results of what happened during my vacation will slowly unwrap in the next few months. Hopefully by the middle of this year I will be able to explain in detail what happened to me during the last three weeks I was away on vacation.

When I arrived, I decided to clean my bedroom and my refrigerator. I will clean the rest of the house tomorrow. I have a bundle of clothes to wash. I realize that cleaning is such a Spiritual Exercise. It's like cleaning your subconsious of grime and dust and cobwebs.

I also bought food today. Healthy, fresh, envigorating food. No more preserved foodstuff in cans and pouches. This way I can feed my body with nourishing nutrients.

I mya have started working this year a bit late. January's almost over, and I still have no projects committed for the next months. I just have a collectibles out there. So I have to hang in tight and find a way to start my next project.

This coming week will indeed be a challenge for me.

I have installed my Monitors. I had a paranoia attack around mid-day today. I dispensed with it by telling myself there were more important things to achieve than being scared about something that's not really there at all.

I also noticed that I have this energetic feeling now. I am aware I have to be careful with this energy. My monitors kept warning me to keep myself on the level.

All of these used to take out my strength. Now, I feel much better and in charge! Really! There are many more things I look forward to trying in the next few days.

Life is getting fun. . . . . . and I am READY TO RUN!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

On the Starting Block.... again!

Well, I have been here before. So there's no reason for me to feel uncomfortable. In fact I am so familiar with this feeling, my brain seems to like it. (I have this funny feeling inside that this is the reason why I always end up stuck....., so I can go back to start).

I have negotiated with myself to finish what I am starting now. (I can't explain yet how negotiating with your self is done.) So the end result of this process will show whether the negotiations succeeded or not.

I'll be going back to Davao in a few days. I still have less than a hand full of days left here in Dumaguete. Ample time to get my new gears going. What ever these new gears are and will be still remains to be seen.

I actually have a lot of stuff to put in writing. I need to put them here. So just wait for the next installments.

As an overview, these are:
1. Installing New Mental Maps
2. Acquiring New Mental Sotware
3. Upgrading my Brains Operating System.

Ain't that list interesting?

These are the reasons why I'm on the Starting Block again.

Till next post.... take care.

Plus I'll share with you my take on a couple of books I read ove the holidays. These books are awesome.