Friday, November 30, 2007


I know that I am in the middle of a downward spiral now. My depression is getting in the way of my work. I feel so down, I can't work, I can't concentrate, my brain seems to be in deep freeze.

I have sudden rushes of focused attention - like right now- but they don't last that long.
I have to find a way to make these focused moments last, or come as often. But how?

Any way, I am determined to hold on and not give up. Life is an adventure worth my while....

Besides... there are so many wonderful things out there waiting for me....

I just have to adjust my "sails" to the wind.

By the way, I didn't get in too deep with BRAIN WAVE ENTRAINMENT. Just didn't have the time.

I'm really thinking of trying that out in the coming days.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

in the dumps AGAIN!

I'm down in the dumps again. I really do not understand why. But, I just can't get myself to get things done.

I have this very heavy feeling over my head, and then there is this pain inside my head that feels like stings....

I really have no idea why this is happening. I have so much work to do, and I'm tired of this.

I don't really know now what to do. I was hoping I would be able to get over this very, very, very bad feeling.

Honestly, I'm just about to give up now.....

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Letting Go

I have been trying to understand what triggers my bouts with depression. Until today I have not found a way to understand it. I had all the time to do the thinking and remembering since we are having a very long holiday - the barangay elections and the All Saints Day.

Other people would find what I had been doing quite strange. I know that there are others who will understand. For me, it does not really matter. After all, this is my life.

What ever triggers my bouts with depression is something I have also decided not to delve on anymore.

I need to take control of my thoughts, emotions and actions. After all, I have the mind to tell me that I am heading towards depression, so I have to do something to get out of the rut.

I did a lot of research on the internet about getting out of depression and I found a whole lot of help on the net. I have decided to experiment in BRAIN WAVE ENTRAINMENT. I hope this will work.

If you want to know what BRAIN WAVE ENTRAINMENT is all about, you can google it and follow the links. I was able to get some resources on the internet. One good site is The site has brainwave entrainment session to reduce depression.

Another tool I downloaded is the Silva Mind Centering Exercise. You can go to their website and download a free mp3 on how to calm your mind.

With the help of these tools, I hope to be able to take my life back from my Bipolar Condition. Taking medications has helped me. But I believe it is not enough. I need to have more control over my life. Not my condition taking control over me.