Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My Two Worlds

I somehow live in two worlds. Both are so different from each other, yet so real to me. I just realized this recently. Moving in and out of each to be in the other has taken a toll on me. I have wasted so much time.

Yet, I really do not know how to stay in only one instead of both. I am completely aware that only one world is visible to those who know me - the Other World, while the other one - the Mind World- only exists inside my head.

The Mind World helps me survive the times I am in deep pain, yet I feel I have to leave this world behind. The comforts this world offers me only serve to make my situation worse.

But the pain I go through in the Other World is so unbearable for me.

The existence of these two different worlds seems to perpetuate the condition I am in. I have to make a choice now, even if it really hurts.

1 comment:

TheVoice said...

I went through that with alcohol addiction. I knew I had to leave it behind, but it was what made me feel safe. It protected me from my own emotions, it helped me sleep without enduring horrific nightmares.

In the end I knew it wasn't right and I had to leave it behind. I went through major changes, but I made it through and so will you.